Samantha Joel is a dating scientist. She studies how people make decisions about their romantic relationships — including how they decide to pursue a potential date, or invest in a new relationship, or break up with a partner.

But at the core of it all, Joel is interested in this question:⁠ What predicts successful relationships?

Joel and 85 other scientists decided to try and find out by compiling data on more than 11,000 couples, using A.I. to look for patterns that predict success.⁠

The results were … unfortunately not as clear as one would hope. *However* ...

The researchers were able to identify 3 questions that DID predict people’s happiness in their current relationship. Surprisingly: these questions had absolutely nothing to do with their partner.

They are:⁠

  • Were you satisfied with your life before you met?⁠
  • Were you free from depression before you met?⁠
  • Did you have a positive attitude before you met?⁠ ⁠

People who answered “yes” to all 3 questions were significantly more likely to say they are happy in their current romantic relationship. In fact, these questions were 4x more predictive of people’s relationship satisfaction than any of their romantic partner’s characteristics … combined.

TL;DR : it turns out that happiness in a relationship might just require you to be happy with yourself first.

Reading about this study got us thinking…⁠

 ?  Can relationships *make* people happier, or is true happiness entirely the result of internal thoughts/states?⁠

 ?  If happiness in a relationship is largely dependent on one's mindset going into the relationship ... Does that mean most of us could be happy with more potential partners than we assume?⁠

 ?  If this study showed that two people’s characteristics, similarities, or dissimilarities can’t accurately predict compatibility … Are dating apps just a bunch of B.S.?⁠


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